Destined to be a cat lady... I hate cats....

So. I'm single. And, except for a quick, 1 week relapse with an ex, have been that way for coming up on three years. It's funny how so many  non-single people feel the need to "fix" or "cure" people that are single. Like it's a disease. Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate that people think of me and that they want me to be happy in love. I really do!! My complaint isn't people trying to fix me up. In fact, bring it on. But I am picky. I figure if I have managed to be single this long and not completely lose my mind, I might as well stick to my guns, right? I mean, why should I settle. I may be lonely, but I'm not desperate. I want my next relationship to be my last. I don't think that is too much to ask.... is it?

So I've made a list. Some things I'm willing to overlook or compromise on... others, it's all or nothing.


I would prefer a guy close in age. I mean, if they aren't in the same place in life as I am, why bother. I think no more than 5 or six years in either direction.. Although 6 years younger may be stretching it.
I'm about to make it official that I can't have any more kids, so my new guy can't want to have any (more) kids. If he already has some of his own, great! If not, (and even if he does) love mine like his own. In saying that though, he will need to realize that my boys have dads. I'm not out daddy shopping!
He needs to make me a priority. I would never expect to be priority number one. Especially if he has kids. I can't make that promise, so why would I expect him to. But being a priority is important.


Personality is important to me! If a guy can make me laugh, I'm putty in his hands. I mean really laugh though. Not the stupid little giggle. Not the "I'm laughing at you not with you" laugh. (ok well sometimes that one works too).  There is a reason I find this man extremely sexy!

A guy that loves music like I do. A guy that appreciates theatre. A guy that knows that I'm a single mom, so most of my days and nights are taken up, and it's not always easy for me to get out of my house. A guy that doesn't need to leave the house to have a good time. We can sit on the couch and watch movies, or read books. Wanna have friends over for dinner, a couple drinks and some board games? Sounds like a GREAT night to me! But at the same time, who wants to be a hermit?!? Let's go out to a pub for dinner with another couple and find a place to go dancing for a night. FUN!!!!! OR, my favourite, let's go find a restaurant with a quiet little table, get a bottle of wine, appies, meal. Let's take our time and just enjoy each others company. I think I'm pretty easy to please.

I like to be taken care of. But I'm not a princess that needs to be waited on and coddled. You take care of me, and I'll take care of you.


Is that picky? Is that just knowing what I want?

I don't really care what it is.

Suddenly I feel like I'm writing my profile on a dating site. WHICH, by the way, are TERRIBLE!!!!

Why is every guy on those things looking for a hook up? Why is it that "looking for a long term relationship" is now code for "looking for random sex"? "I like to cuddle" means "I want to get in your pants".
I will admit, I have signed up for a few, just to see what's going on out there. One site matched me with an ex. (BOY was I glad I didn't put my name or picture up!!). Another site constantly matched me with guys either 50+ or under 25. (Remember I was saying I want someone to be in the same point in life as I am... those guys, not so much). A third site actually matched me with a guy I though was pretty awesome, until, before even showing me a picture of his face, he popped up on webcam with his.. "interesting piercing". (I know, right?!?!?).  One site even told me that I was "unmatchable". (Thanks for the ego boost!! Toodles!!).

SO dating sites are out. Now how do I go about meeting someone?? Like I mentioned, I don't exactly get out of the house much. I get up in the morning, get the kid and myself ready. Off to work/daycare and school. Home from work/daycare rush to make dinner, do homework, teeth, bath, load of laundry, try to squeeze quality time in there. All in 2 hours. Bed time for bonzo because he's cranky in the morning if he doesn't get enough sleep. Mommy gets a bit of mommy time. This includes dishes, folding the afore mentioned laundry, picking up the toys that somehow in the short period we were home, got strewn throughout the apartment. If I'm quick I have time to catch up with an episode of  one of my shows. Then off to bed I go. Lather, rinse repeat. 5 days a week. Weekends don't leave much time either due to more cleaning, more laundry, more quality time with the munchkin. So I figure, Prince Charming might just have to come to me. I'm not so sure he'll some knocking on my door though. In a conversation with a friend of mine, it was decided that I need to start singing more (if that's possible), and talking to small animals, and maybe befriending 7 small people or losing my slipper somewhere (wait, that would mean leaving the house... never mind).

Got any other ideas?? The cat lady thing is looking more and more like reality... And I hate cats....

Oh boys! The creative juices are a flowing!

Uh oh! It seems as though I have the writing itch back!!

I couldn't wait to get my little one to bed tonight so I could write again!


So, I have these two wonderful boys in my life. I have always encouraged creativity, as I feel it is a very important quality. When my oldest (now 12) was 3, 4 and 5-and probably 6 for that matter-he LOVED to dress up. He had three Teletubby costumes he would rotate through. Sometimes he would wear his Batman pajamas (they came with a cool cape) with his Batman underwear on top. The underwear were important! That was how people knew he was a real hero! I didn't mind at all. In fact, when it was time to go out, and he didn't want to change, we went out like that.He LOVED the attention! He was the coolest kid around! Still is. Even if he doesn't dress like that any more.

Nope, It's not Halloween!

My youngest is.... nuts? He's 5. He likes costumes too, but only rarely wears them out of the house. He did however have a phase where he would allow his older cousin to dress him up. He was always a great sport about it! He's the one that likes to talk to everyone he sees. And I mean EVERYONE! I actually had to stop teaching him our address because he was trying to give it out to strangers on the bus so they could come over and have a play date! He is the friendliest person anyone will ever meet!

Isn't he pretty?

So it's through his creative craziness that I had a peak into how a 5 year old boys mind works.... and BOY does it work FAST!!! We were attempting to do his home reading yesterday, when he decided that instead of reading the word on the page, he would say "fart". He giggled for at least 10 minutes straight! Through a few Facebook suggestions, we decided to write a story today. I thought I would post them for you to enjoy. Remember, these are HIS words, I simply wrote them down. Try to keep up!

Once upon a time there was a boy named Brandon and he farts all the time. And after he farts, he farts again. After those two farts, he couldn't fart. And then he burped. He burped again. Then he couldn't burp. Brandon said "Weeeeeeee the fart" Then he said "Batman farted!"

            After that, he got a new race car toy. After that he could fart again. Then he got a new bunny toy. He got a lego  ninja set. He watched Madagascar and burped 9 times while it was on. After the burps he couldn't burp again. Then he got a new movie and burped through the whole movie.He went behind the couch and had new cards games and played them.

            Brandon had a brother named Kyan. They played cars together all the time. And there was a girl who chased Brandon around until she got to kiss him. And she DID get to kiss him.And they finally met somebody with Yogi Bear and Booboo costumes. After they met the person with the costumes, they met the real Yogi Bear and  Booboo. They went to Yogi and Booboo's house where there was Mouse Trap and Sorry and Kerplunk and card games. They played all of the games. They also had a little Grave Digger monster truck.

         Since Brandon was on an adventure, he missed his mom and dad. So he went home and watched Ant Bully and Batman Begins. Then he had a play date with the girl and Kyan and they all played cars and farted.

 THE END

How was that for a story?! He enjoyed writing that one so much that he wrote another.

Kyan is going to fart when he plays with the Battle Machines. He is going to fart when he shoots the orange Camaro with the blue Mustang. Kyan says "boing boing banana" and he goes bananas. Going bananas is going crazy! His mommy tickled his belly and he fell off the couch. That made him fart  2 times. He laughed and went bananas again. He had everything that Yogi Bear had. He like Ninja Turtle, Cat in the Hat, Monster Trucks and books about Monster trucks. He likes movies and Mouse Trap and Elmo (a little bit). He also like Super Heroes and books and Monsters Inc.. His favourite movie is Avatar (the Last Airbender). His favourite game is Luigi's Mansion (even though he's never played it). His real favourite movie is Tron (even though he's never seen it). He has a Grave Digger  that can run over his hand with all 4 wheels. He has a Speed Cars library book that he really likes. It tells all about sports cars. His favourite car in the book is the yellow Corvette Z06 because he thinks it looks like Bumblebee. Bumblebee is his favourite Transformer.

THE END

And there you have it... my future blogger! Maybe he'll title it Boing Boing Banana. ... but I bet he'll call it "Fart"

 

 

Eating Disorders - A nice light topic to start

First blog. Here we go. 


It was brought to my attention that this week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week. 
The person that mentioned it, asked that it be talked about. I'm doing my part.


First, I want to talk about the person that mentioned it.  Unfortunately, we aren't close enough for me to know exactly what she is going through, but I've been watching her journey via FB. I've seen the pictures of the scale smashing, I've seen the self defeating status', I've seen the beautiful smiles. She is an amazing, strong, wonderful woman who is going through a tough battle. But she WILL win! I know it!


I guess now is the time to talk about my own journey with eating disorders. I don't even know when it started really. I have had body issues for ... well... a really long time. Before puberty, I was skinny as a rail. Then, one day, BAM!!! I had boobs and hips and THIGHS.... oh my goodness the thighs!  And there started the issues. Kids are mean! It doesn't matter that they are going through the same thing, girls will make fun of other girls who are bigger than them. It doesn't matter if they want to stare at boobs, guys will make fun of girls for having a big butt and "thunder thighs". I suppose I could come up with all sorts of excuses as to WHY and HOW I got on the path I was on. It wasn't just teasing from school mates and neighbours, there were comments from certain family members, from "friends", and boyfriends. I wasn't going through the best times of my life in other aspects either. But we won't get into that. So, I suppose if you want to put a title on it, I was bulimic (non purging). I would go for weeks, sometimes months where all I would eat  was one slice of ham, or one piece or bread in a day. Sometimes I would "splurge" and have a tiny bowl of cereal. Other days I wouldn't eat at all. Then there were the "bad" days. I would eat... OH would I eat!!! I would eat everything I could get my hands on! Food didn't have a taste so it really didn't matter what it was. I remember once, I ate an entire box of saltine crackers; a full box of cereal; half a container of ice cream; a block of cheese; two cans of tuna; I even found myself munching on uncooked spaghetti noodles because I had eaten everything else and I couldn't wait long enough for them to cook. 

Sadly, this cycle went on for a few years. In 1994 or so, I met a wonderful woman named Gina. Gina used to be a model. Gina suffered a stroke at a young age. This stroke was due to her own battle with an eating disorder, and left her paralyzed on the left side of her body. I think she was the first one to actually see what was going on (I hid it quite well... don't we all at first?). She sat me down one day and described to me IN DETAIL what happens to a persons organs when they don't eat. It scared me. A lot! Enough that I started (slowly) getting back into eating properly. But, the second I noticed my clothes getting a little tight, I was back at it. The binges were worse and the time between them was longer.


Then I met this guy. He was one of the funniest guys I had ever met. Tall, dark and handsome. I reeeeaaaalllly liked him, and wanted him to feel the same. I don't know if he even knows it, but I give him HUGE credit for pulling me out of it. Honestly, to this day, I don't think he knows how far in I was. Or how big of an impact he had on getting me out. I didn't want to be that person anymore... Gina's words were coming back to me and meaning more than they ever had. I made the decision to fight past whatever it was that made me feel like I wasn't good enough in the  physical state I THOUGHT I was in and see what state I ACTUALLY was in. Soon after I made the decision, I realized I was pregnant. I took that as a sign. I hadn't reached the point where I had destroyed my body. I was still able to make life. And this life that was growing inside of me needed taking care of. It was a tough battle... but it was one I fought through (happily). I was lucky. I won that battle. I still struggle with food and body issues. I don't think an eating disorder is something you ever completely overcome. But you can definitely learn to STOP and think and realize and decide to take the right path. One tiny section at  a time.


To that guy, thank you for being you. I wish you all the happiness in the world, and I am glad you have found it!
To Gina, I'm sad that we haven't seen each other in so many years. I'm sure you are still the powerful woman that helped change my life. Thank you.
And to my friend that is struggling now, I know my journey  was NOTHING compared to yours, but I want  you to know you are not alone. You are beautiful, strong, amazing... you are going to kick ass! You got this!