Day 5 - Misconceptions

Day Five: The biggest misconception you think people have about single life

I had a few ideas on how to answer this one. People think that being single means one of two things: either we're out partying all the time, or we're always sad and lonely.

I have to admit, the latter is probably closer to the truth for me, but it's still not true. Maybe it's because I have kids. Maybe it's because I'm older and don't have the energy to party anymore. Who knows. But I'm not into that scene. And to be honest, that's not how I want to meet someone. The partying type is not the type for me.

So I stay home for the most part. Sure, I go out once in a while, but I don't need it. That doesn't mean that I'm sad and lonely. Sure I get sad. And sure I feel lonely sometimes. But just because I'm sitting at home, waiting for Prince Charming to knock on my door, doesn't mean I'm a big sad sack! A lot of us enjoy the quiet time. I personally don't get a lot of that, with the kids around, but that makes me enjoy it that much more when I get it.

I suppose that's it. That's what I think is the biggest misconception. We do know how to balance fun and alone time :)

Day 4 - My Biggest Fear

Day Four: Your biggest fear as a single person.

This one is easy. My biggest fear as a single person is that I will ALWAYS be a single person. That's scary!

The thought that I will never find my forever person actually haunts me. I sometimes feel like it runs my life! I'm almost at 10 years single. That already feels like a lifetime. I so badly want someone to share my life with. I mean the rest of it isn't really so bad. I have two amazing boys. A roof over my head. A good job that I feel appreciated at. I may not have a lot of friends that I spend a lot of time with here, but I have a good support system. I'd just like someone to share it with. Cliche, I know, but it's true. One of my kids is grown and gone, and the other is only a few years away (although I suspect he won't go far). Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to live out my "golden years" with? To enjoy grandchildren with? And let's be fully honest here... I need some physical LOVIN'!

Day 3 - When being single was awesome

Day Three: Describe a moment or day when being single was really awesome.

This one has taken a lot of thought. My first thoughts were all those times I hear of bad things happening in a relationship, or any sort of minor tribulation that couples go through. But, while those may make me happy for a moment that I don't have to deal with that, I realize that good or bad, it would be nice to have someone there for me.

So... when was a time that being single was really awesome? I'm still not really sure. I'm sure there must have been some moments in these past 10 years where I was happy to be single, but even after thinking about it all weekend, I just can't pin point anything.

All I can really think of at this point is that I'm not really accountable to anyone. I don't have to think about another person's time line when I'm making plans. Even that is pretty new, though! It may not have been a significant other that I've had to think about, but children work the same way.

I suppose I need to think about this a little more....

Day Two - When Being Single Sucked

Day Two: Describe a moment or day when being single really sucked

Well, how long do you have? Having been single for so long, there have been many moments and days when being single sucked. Weddings, family parties, countless holidays, the birth of my youngest child, illnesses, you name it.

But there are two times, with similar circumstances that really stood out when I read this question. Those would be the passing of my Gram in 2013 and my Gramps in 2015. I can't say one was any worse than the other, as I was close to both of them. They were two of the most important people in my life. In both instances, I found out through a phone call. All I wanted was for someone to wrap their arms around me and hold on tight. To be able to grieve for a moment. To feel protected. I'm the oldest of six siblings, so I had to be strong for my brothers and sisters. I had to be there for them. And then I realized, all but one of them has a significant other. Someone to hold them, someone to protect them. And in those moments I felt very alone. In those moments, being single really sucked!

Blog Challenge - Day One

You know how I keep saying I'm going to start writing more? Well, here I am, saying it again. This time I've got a little help. I stumbled across an old blog challenge from Mandy Hale creator of The Single Woman. If you want to check it out, here is the link to her original post (from 2013) http://thesinglewoman.net/2013/10/04/the-single-womans-30-day-blogging-challenge/

So, here we go. Day One. How do you respond to: "And why are you still single?"

Starting off with a tough one. I've been single almost 10 years now, so I have heard this one hundreds of times. I've also heard many opinions from others on the subject. I touched on the subject quite a while back on one of my previous posts. I've been told I'm looking too hard (see previous post for my opinion on that...) and that he will come along when I'm not looking. I've been told I'm too picky. I've been told so many things that I was starting to think that it didn't matter what I did, I would be alone forever.

I've done some work on myself recently (a topic for another post) and I've come to realize that I AM picky... but I think a better term for it is selective. It's been this long, why settle now?? Why would I lower my standards and expectations just so that I can be in a mediocre relationship with someone I settled for? I may be Vanilla, but I'm better than that! I - and my future partner - deserve better than that!

So that's my answer these days. I'm still single because I know what I am looking for in a partner, and I know he's out there somewhere. We will find each other some day.