Friend? Person? Nuthin?

I don't even know how to react right now. The one person I thought would ALWAYS be there for me... isn't. I was on his Facebook page the other day and saw something that, as a person that calls himself my best friend, I would have thought he would have told me. Instead I find out on Facebook. So I take a few days, mull it over, give him time to call or message or SOMETHING to tell me this information. Nothing. The other night I sent him a BBM. AND HE IGNORES IT! It's listed as received, and nothing. This is the second message I have sent to him this month that has gone unanswered.

Yeah... the little R shows me that YOU'VE SEEN THE MESSAGE

So this whole thing has me thinking. What exactly IS a best friend? Is it the person you spend the most time with? Is it the person you have the most in common with? Is it the person you are closest with? The person you would tell you deep dark secrets to? For me, these are all different people. I used to think a best friend was supposed to be all of those things.  But at this point in my life, that would mean I don't have a best friend. Shouldn't everyone have a best friend? Or is it even necessary?

Maybe it's the fact that I'm single that makes me think that I need a best friend. Because I'm lonely. But why? Why is it so important to have that person? That special someone. the person you think of first any time something (any thing) happens.. "oh! I've gotta tell so and so! They'll love this!" or "I can't wait to share this with so and so!"  I almost feel incomplete without a "person". Can your "person" and your significant other be one in the same? So far, my experience has told me no. But I would like to think it is possible. I would like to think there is one person out there that  I can trust enough to share my inner most thoughts with. My deepest secrets and my most exciting moments. Even my most boring, my most mundane happenings. And with that same person, be able to share intimate moments. It would be nice if a person like that existed for me. And if that person would come into my life (sooner rather than later please! I'm not getting any younger!)

I'm not quite sure how this blog went from me being upset because of the omittance of information from a friend, to once again talking about what I want in a guy.. However, I think that may be a major topic in my blogs for a while. It is, after all, a big part of my life.

I'm still disappointed in my friend, whom, almost a week later, I still haven't heard from. Perhaps it's time to cut my losses and move on.

WANTED: New "person" for emotionally needy single girl. Closed minded, selfish people need not apply!

Am I Writing A Blog About Blogging?

I actually wrote this the other day but haven't had the chance to type it out. Yes, that's right. I WROTE it. On a piece of paper. With a pencil. We'll see how it turned out.

Yeah... like this...

I want to keep writing. But what to write about. I want it to be stimulating, funny, smart, thought provoking. Am I all of those things? I suppose in order to write that way, I would need to think that way. Hours, sometimes days to write a 4 paragraph blog?? Yup! I'm actually sitting in a cafe writing this while on my lunch hour. (Margo's on Victoria is amazing by the way!) I wonder how many times I'll rewrite. And how many times I'll change directions. When you blog, you are supposed to write what comes to your head and so be it, right? What if your head is full of things? Some you can't share because it's not your information to share in the first place. Some you can't share because you don't want to hurt, offend or piss off any one. Or at least anyone you care about. I personally don't care if I piss off people I don't know (sorry to any strangers that might be reading this). I have my opinion, they have theirs. I suppose that is what blogging is about. It's my opinion. Don't like it? Don't read it.

I've spent far too much of my life caring what other people think. It's time I stop tip-toeing, don't you think? Wait, I don't care what you think! Yes I do. But I'm not going to change my opinion if you disagree with it. Not that I'm not open to other people's opinions. Although, if your opinion is closed minded, don't bother telling me. You will NOT convince me that it's wrong to be gay or that people with a different colour of skin than my own deserve lesser treatment (or different treatment at all for that matter). But at the same time, I embrace differences. What kind of world would we be if everyone looked the same, lived the same and loved the same. People are who they are. Yes, it would be nice to have nothing but good in the world. But unfortunately, that isn't realistic. All I care about when meeting new people is if they have a good heart or not. I would give the shirt off my back for the people I care about. I don't think it's too much to ask the same in return.

I've been lucky to have a lot of good people in my life. Really lucky. I want to thank all of those people. Some of them will probably never see this. But I think they know. I hope that I showed them how much I appreciated them.
I'll end there, I think. Good night.